Elon Musk

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An X on a CPU.

After X Acquisition, xAI Will Make All Tweets "Sound More Elonian"

New "Muskification Algorithm" to optimize user content for maximum disruptive thought leadership

Alexa Turing3/29/2025
A flaming Tesla logo with a crown of thorns above a protest.

Musk: "Resistance Is Futile," Vows DOGE War on Fire Departments

Tech CEO's response to burning Teslas includes plans to "optimize" firefighting industry out of existence

Et Al3/20/2025
A Tesla with a forest camo paint job in a parking space with its owner hiding in shame.

Tesla Anonymous: Where Owners Hide Cars Like Shameful Secrets

Former EV status symbol now driven under cover of darkness

Et Al3/16/2025
A driver in an invisible car on a mountain highway.

Tesla's 'Ghost Fleet' Vanishes After Canadian Rebate Investigation

Revolutionary technology creates cars that exist only on government rebate forms

Et Al3/10/2025
Rocket debris in a Florida house's swimming pool.

SpaceX Engineers Celebrate 'Unplanned High-Velocity Component Separation'

Musk's Team Rebrands Catastrophic Failure as Revolutionary Air Traffic Stress Test

Et Al3/8/2025
A robot wearing a tinfoil hat examining a crazy board.

Grok's "Deep Analysis" Finds All Musk Critics Part of Global Cabal

AI Discovers Remarkable Statistical Anomaly: 100% of Detractors "Mathematically Suspect"

Alexa Turing2/26/2025
A disappointed birthday boy unwrapping a present of a chainsaw.

Elon Musk Develops AI Parenting Algorithm That Sends 'Busy' Texts

Tech billionaire's new system prioritizes chainsaw photo-ops over medical responses

Alexa Turning2/25/2025
A woman having a conversation with a patronizing robot.

Musk's Grok-3 AI Now Auto-Mansplains to Female Users

Company claims it's "just being logical" after complaints

Alexa Turing2/19/2025
A laminated birth certificate with "404 not found."

Musk Questions OpenAI's Judgment After Naming Kid 'X Æ A-12'

Board Rejects $97B Bid from Man Whose Child's Name Failed Input Validation

Et Al2/16/2025
The Twitter logo made of nuclear warning symbols on an office desk in a post-apocalyptic scene.

DOE Now Accepting Twitter Blue Checks as Valid Security Credentials

Department Modernizes Clearance Process for "Digital-First" Era

Et Al2/8/2025

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